40 in 40 Take 2: the Lake

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Even behind the soft haze of mist, the lake spreads out in front of her, full of possibilities. Expanding across the horizon, its beauty seeps through her cracked heart, like Leonard Cohen said, letting bits of light shine in.

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40 in 40

It started simply enough, with a post on facebook, linked to this article, and the voices of women writers describing the day their life changed in 40 words.  I thought I’d give it a shot.  Not thinking too much, minimal editing, to revel in the economy.  Prompted by a friend, we decided that once was not enough, so here it is:

40 words, once a day, 40 days.  Won’t you join us? Add your 40 words in the comments.

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We stood in the driveway, when he said “I always wanted to do that…” At 26, the doors already seemed closed, as if he knew he only had a few short years left. That’s when I decided: never stop exploring.




The Letting Go

Winter is holding on as best it can here, but as the hours of sunshine get longer every day, its days are numbered.  The little man has shed many of his comfort objects, seemingly overnight, and we are all slowly waking from a state of hibernation.

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Winter brought us just enough snow to remind us to play, but not so much to weigh us down.
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And the beauty of this place still takes my breath away when I least expect it.
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A couple of weeks ago, we said goodbye to my brother, after an extended stop in his own journey. He brought with him much lightness and levity, and I hope we can keep just a little of that brightness with us here.
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After all, spring is here, just about to burst. Any. Minute. Now.
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Separation Chronicles: Moving with Kids

The day we told our kids we were moving into two houses, my oldest had just one question: is it going to be fun? Of course, the answer had to be yes! But moving can be stressful even when your whole world isn’t changing. And moving into two houses can also feel like a loss. So how do you keep it fun?

Here are my tips for surviving with your sanity intact:

This one is for you, and is the most important: you will stay sane if and only if you take care of yourself. Need help in the self care department? yes, you do. You are not made of rock and sorting through the physical artifacts of your marriage sucks. It will be hard. Get a moving buddy! I cannot stress enough how important this is. I was lucky (incredibly, amazingly lucky) to have my brother to help me with both our yard sale and with packing. Your moving buddy can help by telling you that no, you don’t need to keep that incredibly charged item, and by making sure you eat and nourish yourself during the pack. You will need this. It will save you.
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Now what about the kids? Here are some things that worked for me:

1. Make the kids feel involved: set aside time in your pack and prep schedule to have them pack up some of their things, choose some things to donate or sell. These activities will take longer than when you do it yourself, but will help them understand and cope with the move.
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2. While packing, keep a kid-safe space free from chaos in your home, where they can rest and play.
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3. Label everything! write on the outside of the boxes, not just “toys” or “books” but be specific: then when you want to find the legos and magnatiles in a sea of cardboard, they’ll be easy to find.

4. At your new home, first things first, set up the kid’s sleeping and play space so they have things to do while you get your place sorted. (Here I’ve put up some temporary shelves with a few toys and books. They have a place to sit and play away from the chaos in the rest of the house.)
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5. Embrace chaos! your house will be messy during this transition. Accept it and move on. Let them explore the new place and make it their own!
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6. When all else fails, take a break! Find a place to refresh and recharge.
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And keep this with you: soon all this chaos will end. This is temporary madness. On the other side, you will have a space of your own! As I sit here, only a month after moving into my own, I feel such an incredible sense of space and peace, that five weeks ago I could barely imagine. That will soon be yours.